Ecclesiastes 6

Solomon states that he sees an evil, people who have many gifts from God but then cannot enjoy them. When I first read this I thougth that he was saying that he found it unfair. As I thought about it though, I think what he is really saying is that if we don't take the time to appreciate what we have, it doesn't matter how good our lives are.

This makes sense to me, I have so much that I take for granted and never thank God for. Usually my unhappiness stems from not having something I desire, but if I took the time to thank God for what I did have, I would probably be even more happy than if I always got what I wanted.

Ecclesiastes 5

Yay,  back to enjoying work and that what God gives us is a gift to be enjoyed. At the same time he warns that wealth is often the ruin of people.

Earlier in the chapter, Solomon warns that we should take how we speak with God very carefully. I had never thought about this, I talk to God like I would talk to a friend. But really God is so much greater than us, we should have so much respect.

Or not

Oh how Ecclesesiastes plays with my heart. First I'm told to enjoy my work, and now in the next chapter it's all meaningless again. Hopefully in the next chapter there is some actual closure to what I should do.

Prayer

Tonight in prayer meeting I was praying that God would show me some sort of direction for my life. As I read in Ecclesiastes today, there is nothing better than for man to enjoy his work. So at least for the time being it helps to have a little bit of direction, to settle in to my job and believe that it is God's plan for me.

Heaven

I was reading Ecclesiastes and Solomon was saying how everything we do is for nothing. This made me think, why do we struggle so much if in the end we all die? I think the answer is that we are striving for the afterlife. But I realized that in a way, heaven seems too good to be true. I guess I almost feel like there is going to be nothing when we die or some kind of catch to the deal.

I was discouraged with my lack of faith, but really I think everyone is like this. 80 years of ups and downs compared to an eternity of joy? If people truly believed that then why are so many Christians sad all the time? Our life expectancy is so short you would think we could handle misfortune better if we know that it's going to be over so soon. Why aren't Christians more joyful?

I feel like I'm caught in a loop in my quiet times recently. I'm not sure what else I should be learning. Probably loving others would be helpful.

I saw this and I can't help but feeling that this is how I am, chasing after such temporary niceties.

Jeremiah 10:1-5

Talks about how the idols that people worship are worthless, they can do neither good nor harm. If  we consider our own materialism it works the same way; they don't really hurt anything, but often it's strange how we spend so much time running after things that aren't even valuable. Baseball players get paid millions of dollars to hit a little ball with a piece of wood. There is nothing wrong with baseball, but our priorities are really screwed up.

Jeremiah 9:17

"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righeousness on earth, for in these I delight, declares the Lord."

In our small groups, we have been talking about how what people desire is different than what God desires. Often the things we hold valuable are different than what God thinks is valuable. In the end, everything we have will be gone, but the only thing that matters is our relationship to God. Why is it so difficult to see the benefit in really chasing after him then?

Jeremiah 8

Jeremiah has pretty much been the same thing every chapter, God is really angry at Israel for abandoning him, and letting them know that punishment is coming. It was difficult to find any sort of applicability at first, but if we replace Israel with ourselves it's easy to see just how closely we resemble them. God is good to us, we fall away until something bad happens, and then we come back. Repeat this over and over and over.

Jeremiah 5:25

"Your wrongdoings have kept these away; your sins have deprived you of good."

It's been kinda interesting grading homework for my friends. I sometimes see them make silly mistakes, and I want to overlook it because we're close. But then I think, if I let them get away with it, they'll never learn. Until recently I've been kind of asking God to give blessings, but without really repenting. I realized that if God gave me what I asked for, he would basically be condoning my behavior. This would never lead to a closer relationship.

Prayer

This morning as I was lying in bed praying, I think I finally heard God speak to me after several years. It was unlike the instances before where I wasn't sure if it was me talking or God. At any rate, it was very reassuring, but I also felt I was being challenged at the same time. I'm making progress spiritually, but I can't let my guard down.

Second Wind

I used to ride bikes quite a bit with my family, as the youngest child i often had trouble keeping up with them. Before long I would be out of breath and very tired and wanted nothing more than to take a break. After awhile, I would notice that while I was still exhausted, I had a new level of determination and energy even though I hadn't taken a break or had any food. There is a term for this called getting your second wind.

Spiritually I feel in the same position. I am tired and seem to be lagging behind people. I would like nothing more than some kind of break, like a renewing of my faith or an answered prayer. What I have been feeling in the past week instead though is a sort of spiritual second wind. By simply making the effort to stay spiritually active, and continuing to pray I feel that despite my doubts and struggles I have a newfound determination. Nothing has gotten easier, but I feel a little stronger.

Hope it stays

Jeremiah 4

God is very angry with Israel in this verse. The impression I get of God in the New Testament is of a much more passive God than the Old Testament. However, we know that God's character never changes, so that means that God was as loving back then, but that also means that he is just as temperamental now. We should probably stay on his good side.

So sleepy

I wonder how much God cares about our quiet times if we only do them because we have to, but we have the mindset that we want to continue them in the future?

Jeremiah 3:12

"Return, faithless Israel, declares the Lord, I will frown on you no longer, for I am merciful, declares the Lord, I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt"

This is in the middle of God basically calling Israel worthless because their cries to God were unrepentant. This is exactly how we are, we cry out to God that life is unfair, that it is difficult, and why won't he answer prayers. But at the same time, we live continuously in sin, pausing only to pray and then we resume again. I know I've felt trapped in this vicious cycle. This is such a reassuring verse because basically it is telling me that I haven't really repented if I have no plans on quitting sin. But if we truly have a change of heart, God will hear us.

Jeremiah 2:The whole thing

Israel has an interesting history of going back and forth between loving God, getting in trouble, repenting, and then back again. This could probably be used to describe our own relationships with God.

We get in trouble, ask for God's help, receive it and then go back to our own little idols.

I just realized all my posts are super negative =[

Romans 2:7

"To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life."

This verse means a lot to me because for several years I have been struggling with a feeling of apathy. I didn't really want to live a Christian life, but I wanted to want to. I've spent so much time waiting for the motivation to come, or for some revelation to rekindle the fire. Paul, however says that it is by persistence in doing good. While we are definately saved through faith, I think we are going to be judged on our actions more than we are sometimes led to believe.

Isaiah 1:11

God is talking to the rebellious people of Judah and warns them that he is sick of their offerings. He later tells them to repent and he will forgive their sins. I think this verse addresses the idea that we can sin and just ask God to forgive us. If our hearts are not in the right place then we are asking to be forgiven even though we aren't really repentant, and God is not going to buy it.

Jeremiah 29:13

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 

I guess I can't expect to get close to God again when I'm only seeking him with half my heart.

Proverbs 24:30-34

    ³⁰I passed by the field of the sluggard
         And by the vineyard of the man ^(A)lacking sense,
    ³¹And behold, it was completely ^(B)overgrown with thistles;
         Its surface was covered with ^(C)nettles,
         And its stone ^(D)wall was broken down.
    ³²When I saw, I reflected upon it;
         I looked, and received instruction.
    ³³"^(E)A little sleep, a little slumber,
         A little folding of the hands to rest,"
    ³⁴Then your poverty will come as a robber
         And your want like an armed man.

Was talking with one of the leaders about how lazy I've become. I entered this semester thinking it was going to finally be my chance to catch my breath and relax before I entered the real world. Instead my relaxation has become a habit. I only want to do what I feel like doing and am avoiding a lot of responsibility. This just makes me stressed and I try even harder to relax by avoiding work and I create a vicious cycle. I'd pray and ask for help from God, but that's too much work.

It's seriously time for me to man up and become the Christian/person I know I should be.

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” 

(Deuteronomy 5:16 NRSV)

Really convicted of this, living at home in college doesn't make it easy to get along with your parents.